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Clive3
10-17-2004, 02:42 PM
little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her The
Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you The People.

The nanny, we will consider her The Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him The Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later
that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy
goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Great son! Tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing The Working Class while
The Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and The Future is in deep ****."





heeh

Jeanne Thelen
10-17-2004, 03:00 PM
Clive,
That was a GOOD ONE!!!!! HA! LOL :) Jeanne

Alannah86
10-17-2004, 03:05 PM
Brilliant joke Clive!

preciousstone75
10-18-2004, 01:24 PM
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE A MESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D


ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R-we-R-selves
10-23-2004, 08:46 PM
ROTFL!!



"Diapers and politicians often get changed for the same reasons."

Jeanne Thelen
10-24-2004, 02:56 PM
I've also read
" That politics are the second oldest professions, and that closely resembles the first!!!" Ronald Regan

Delfixxture
10-15-2005, 04:14 AM
Donald Rumsfeld walked into the oval office with a sad look on his face.
President Bush looked at him and said "What's wrong, Don?"
The Secretary turned to the President and said-"We lost 10 Brazilians in the latest car bomb attacks in Iraq."
The President looks at him and says"Is a Brazilian more than a Billion."

Jeanne Thelen
10-25-2005, 05:34 PM
A friend just emailed me this ... Got a Good laugh ....:)

BRITS REVOKE USA INDEPENDENCE (A Message from John Cleese To the citizens of the United States of America):

"In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up vocabulary).

Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.

You will re-learn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour [!].

The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys.Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in FourWeddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football - you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due(backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

The Queen
10-25-2005, 05:45 PM
Thank you Jeanne, that's a riot!

pippi617
10-26-2005, 12:39 AM
excellent Jeanne - thanks.


:love: :love:

dejapete
10-26-2005, 12:56 AM
That's funny, Jeanne.

After a few glasses of Near Frozen Gnat's Urine, it's even funnier.

Jeanne Thelen
10-26-2005, 09:24 AM
Yeah.. I got a Good chuckle... thought the band might appriciate it too...:) Especially Cy.....:) ;)

Mike
02-23-2006, 08:19 AM
Jeanne....;) ....i'm still laughing as I type......Being of english decent this cracks me up....:) ;) :)

Jeanne Thelen
02-23-2006, 10:11 AM
Glad You liked that one, Mike ... Feel free to share it with family and Friends....:) ;)

Dallas
07-06-2006, 01:45 AM
hell yes, very funny.

I know this is kind of an old thread but it still rings true. nice one, I must
share this one..heh heh

cheers

mich112670
07-06-2006, 06:55 PM
Originally posted by dejapete
That's funny, Jeanne.

After a few glasses of Near Frozen Gnat's Urine, it's even funnier. GNATS URINE? Say what?:eek:

Dallas
07-06-2006, 07:17 PM
GNATS urine.

Its about $1,000,000 an ounce. :goodie:

Ever try to milk one of those things?

mich112670
07-06-2006, 07:21 PM
Thanks for clearing that up for me.:D