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View Full Version : Just when you thought no one was looking. . .



preciousstone75
01-06-2006, 12:00 PM
I should have thought about this after my John Oates goof when he peeped me clowning with the kids in public. On Christmas, we loaded up the van (me, Grim, Evil, Mom, and my sis Shell) and headed over to my hillbilly relatives' house. I call them hillbilly because there is a 30-year difference between my aunt's oldest and youngest child- Willie is 47, and Marc is 17 plus there's Doug (37), Sherika (34) and Jr (29) between them! Anywho, we all gave our usual ghetto greetings and then went to various parts of the house.
When I came in the livingroom, Doug was like, "Aw, naw! Now I can't clown you, but since you're here, let me tell you what I saw when I went online. . ." He'd peeped my personals' ad over @ Yahoo!!! To add insult to injury, he continued, "and then there was this one when you had on something black. I was thinking I'd go online and look for somebody I might know, but never did I think I'd see my little cousin Pooh in a negligee!!! I was like, what the HELL?! That's my cousin, man! Close kin! What was you doin' online half-naked?!" The heads in the room swiveled my way. I had to think fast, so I backpedaled and regrouped.
"Oh, that old thing?" I lied. "Man, that pic's been on there! I thought I'd deleted that ad!" Sherika laughed at me.
"You went manhunting online? Did it work?" I started cracking up right along with her.
"Girl, don't even bother! You'd be surprised at what you'd find!"
"Yeah, " Doug added. "Some of those women was on there looking like convicts and had me thinking what in the world were they trying to attract! But your pictures were nice though. I'm still shocked that you put that one on there. Not bad, but you're my cousin! Where'd you take that at anyway?"
"Shut up!"

So, you see, the moral of my tale is hillbilly relatives don't need to use the Internet!

The Queen
01-06-2006, 01:38 PM
Originally posted by preciousstone75

So, you see, the moral of my tale is hillbilly relatives don't need to use the Internet!

You got that right!

rockerchic
01-07-2006, 02:15 PM
Precious Stone - That story was so funny! Watch out for the hillbilly kissing cousins! I had learned a NASTY story a few months back about a true Hillbilly cousin of mine! This girl cousin of mine I think is in her late 30's and lives a true hick style life in backwoods of North Carolina. She is beautiful and has a great body but not much more. The girl had her teeth removed and wears dentures whenever she is up to it. Anyhow the real story that got me was that there's this male cousin who is a real Player from Jersey. He decides to go visit her. Her oldest son busted them on the couch! Yuk! The freaky part of the story is that the male cousin has a new wife or fiance and when the girl cousin's mom called to say get him to come home and stay away from his own kind, the wife said she had no problem with this and she too would like to join them! WoW!!!!!! Missy Elliott's song "Get your Freak On" runs through my head whenever I think about this story. I have been forbidden to make contact with these cousins now. Why? Doesn't the family have any trust? Actually that same male cousin sexually assaulted me at a family gathering when we were teenagers but of course he did not get far as his younger brother came to my rescue and ripped him from me! I had not had to be in contact with him except when our grandma died but we are a huge family so I did not have to spend much time in his presence.
Just tell that cousin of yours to wipe that image and thoughts out of his head!!!!!! Be aware of one on one visits!!!!!!;) :eek: :devil:

preciousstone75
01-09-2006, 12:01 PM
:laugh:

oh, you are so bad!!! my hillbilly relatives are hillbillies because of how many kids my aunt has (five guys and a girl from ONE FALLOPIAN TUBE, people!) and because she had Marc when she was 45!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so, we classify ourselves as "ghettobilly", being some of us have a psuedo-Arkansas drawl (me being one of them!). . .:D

The Queen
01-09-2006, 08:09 PM
Imagine how many she'd have had with two whole tubes! aaah!

rockerchic
01-10-2006, 11:48 AM
Hee hee hee or should I say HEE HAW!!!!!:laugh: