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Thread: Investment tips for 2006

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    1,349

    Talking Investment tips for 2006

    Hello All,

    Investment tips for 2006.... for all of you with any money left, be aware of
    the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and
    make some BIG bucks.

    Watch for these consolidations in 2006:

    1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R.Grace
    Co. will merge and become:
    Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

    2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and
    become:
    Poly, Warner Cracker.

    3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and and become:
    MMMGood.

    4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge
    and become:
    ZipAudiDoDa.

    5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become:
    FedUP.

    6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
    Fairwell Honeychild.

    7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
    Poupon Pants.

    8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
    Knott NOW!

    Please feel free to add your own "tips."

    Fixxation

    Disclaimer: I am not an accountant and therefore cannot give investment advise. Any of these tips are purely at your own risk and Fixxation is not responsible for mergers that do not happen.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    STILL stuck in the water slide at the Vegas Hard Rock pool...
    Posts
    1,686
    *giggle*

    Thanks for the laugh!
    web site | blog | photos | Twitter (primary)
    ----
    "And the Vino di Vici will flow like a river in spring,
    Now the fix(x), the fix(x) is in." - Elbow

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    OZwego, New York
    Posts
    1,662

    TAX Season... another joke for ya-

    Dear Internal Revenue Service:
    Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat.

    I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00.

    Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5 " Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.

    It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

    Sincerely,

    A Satisfied Taxpayer
    "There can be no tradition without innovation."
    - Earle Hitchner, Irish music journalist

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Washington DC USA
    Posts
    461
    If only we could Diamond!

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